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Why being angry is not a solution

Maybe you know this feeling… You’re a hard working, motivated and optimistic person. You put a lot of energy in what you do and you feel pretty passionate about the things you do too. But then, there is someone who doesn’t appreciate what you do and maybe even complains about it. You’re shocked, a little upset and angry. You even thought nothing could stop you! I have this feeling sometimes, but then I try to remember, why being angry doesn’t help to solve the problem.

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Why is being angry not a solution? Because you stay in the negative instead of looking forward. Staying in the negative is only bad for you, because when you’re angry, you’re bothering no one more than yourself, and that is exactly what you don’t want. So stay confident and focussed! I will share 5 tips with you that help me to overcome my anger.

  1. Breathe. Before reacting, take a moment to pause. Someone said something unfriendly? Take some time to let it sink in before making a decision, because most of the time reacting out of emotion make things worse.
  2. Reflect. What happened? And what exactly makes you angry? The comment or the whole situation? Most of the time it’s not only one thing that plays a role. Were you already a little frustrated?
  3. Think of several solution options. Do you really want to quit your job after this comment? Do you really want to break a friendship because of this? Or do you have other options? Maybe talk or ask questions about it.
  4. Implement the solution. You always have multiple options, so when you found one that matches your needs and feelings, implement it. Most of the time you need a good chat.
  5. Let it go. Problem solved? Then don’t stay in that angry mood! That’s not fair, to them, but also to yourself. So don’t focus on all the things you could have done or said better, because that won’t change the past.

These tips may sound a little abstract, but when you do this consciously and consistently, you will also become better and quicker in letting go. Most of the time a good chat will do a great job too. Talk with someone to find more calmness. A walk in nature is also generating more calmness. Don’t let your emotions take control over you, because of what someone said. You are great and everyone will know this as long as you know this yourself.